The European Union
commissioners have announced that
agreement has been reached to adopt English as the
preferred language for European communications, rather
than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan
for what will be known as EuroEnglish [Euro for short].
In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft
'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news
with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replased with 'k'.
Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters
kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased by
'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 persent
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible. Governments will
enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deternent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of silent 'e' in the languaj
is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the forth uer, peopl wil be receptiv to steps such
as replasing the 'th' by 'z' and the 'w' by 'v'. During
the fifz uer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords
kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors be
splid to ozeer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli senisbl riten
styl. Zer vil be no mor tubls or difikultis and avrivun
vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
----- Original Message
Sent: Friday, September 13, 2002 9:46 AM